It ain’t easy being a teen. There’s the awkwardness, the pressure of trying to ready yourself for adulthood and its attendant responsibilities, and inviting your peers’ disdain if you haven’t seen Twilight at least seven times. Then there are the raging hormones. A vibrator for beginners is a safe way to deal with those; with a vibrator, you don’t have to deal with pressure to offer your boyfriend what you’re not ready to give and there’s no risk of pregnancy.
Problem is, there’s no way to buy one before you turn eighteen. Well, almost no way.
You could always ask Mom.
The best way to go about broaching the subject hinges on how well you communicate with your mother. If you’ve got a cool Mom who’s been forthright about sexuality, you’ll at least have a positive discussion about your emerging sexuality and desire for a vibrator. If not, this could be an emotional minefield.
Whatever the case, be prepared for a protracted, serious discussion. Don’t expect this:
“Mom, will you buy me a vibrator?”
“Sure, honey.”
“Kthxbai.”
No, beautiful dreamer, it will not be so. Your mother knows intellectually that you’re growing up, but emotionally… well, moms are moms. They nurture. They dote. Most of all, they protect. Your mother’s going to have pointed questions about your sexual activity and experience. Don’t get your back up. This isn’t about prying. She’ll want to know if you’ve gotten in over your head, because she’ll never relinquish the role of Protector.
She may be amenable to the vibrator. She may talk to you about masturbation instead. She may talk about any number of things. Just remember, she has the last word and even if that word is “no”, having an open discussion about your sexuality is the most important part of this exercise.
